babyboy mccartney.

after a weekend of fun and making the week something bicoastal. they'd had a few lazy days at jesse's home. it seemed better to opt for something with more privacy and something more comfortable than a hotel. she could walk around naked or in sweats and nobody would see anything or care. he'd gotten up early this morning around 7:00am to be precise. aubrey was still asleep in bed when he'd gotten up, careful as can be to not disturb her or do anything to awaken. ginger, curled up on the edge of the bed followed jesse down to the kitchen. he wasn't any chef by any means, only the few experiences he'd had cooking with aubrey and maybe making a small breakfast. but he wanted to surprise her. he'd taken out the pans and oil, throwing together a ham and cheese omlette, just as it had finished cooking he'd placed it on the plate carefully, the bacon was sitting on the back burner waiting to crisp just right. stepping away from the stove he reached for a coffee mug and poured her a fresh cup, this time using a little bit of vanilla creamer and a packet of splenda. he took out a bowl of cereal and sat down, ginger eagerly dancing at his feet begging for whatever could be spared. he sat with his bowl of captain crunch and milk before him taking a spoon full

"What, you want some of Captain Crunch's goodness too?"

he took a small handfull and placed them down on the floor for her to pick at. whether aubrey would kill him or not for it, he didn't care at the moment. she was asleep and it was their little secret. he continued to chew at his cereal until the bowl was nearly empty, lifting it to drink the milk at the bottom before taking it to the sink to be washed later. he made his way back to the bacon. ginger was going to town with the captain crunch, crunching on the peanutty bits just a few steps away from him. the bacon smelled incredible, thank god for packaged bacon. he took her plate and removed the bacon from the pan and onto her plate. reaching for the nozzle and turning off both burners. he took one long stemmed rose and placed it on the tray and then placed the coffee next to it with a napkin that had a simple little note he scrawled on it "happy birthday to my princess. i love you xoxo, me". he took the tray carefully, and how waiters did this without falling he had no clue. he made his way up the stairs as carefully as he could. ginger wasted no time. she took what few little bits she had left and followed right behind him, her eyes staring at the food. she hadn't tripped him luckily but as he made his way in he placed the tray on the bed slowly and walked to her side of the bed, placing a soft kiss on her lips and then moved his lips to her ear to gently whisper

Good morning baby.

Changes. The one word that describes what my life has revolved around in the last year or so. It's the one thing that is usually consistent, no matter what you do. But in order to get myself to a newfound form of fame for lack there of better words, it was necessary. New sound, new look, new audience. Risk was something that had to be factored in. You're always taking a risk when you're changing your image and sound to reach new heights. My favorite example of it is Madonna. She's made a name for herself by basing her career on revamping her image to evolve to the woman we all know and hear today. I'm no Madonna. I'm far from it. But she's taken on the risk involved to keep everyone's attention. I decided to take the same approach. When I recorded "Departure" I didn't know it would do as well as it has been. I hoped with everything I had, I put my heart into it, but there's always that bit of doubt that makes you wonder "will this work?". Nobody's ever 100% that something will fly, and anyone that tells you different is full of shit. We are all human, and all prone to falter. An "I can do anything and still be considered God" attitude is setting yourself up for failure. We've all seen it happen to the best out there, and it's that thought that scares me. It's humbling. When the decision to release "Leavin'" as the first single was reached I figured it would be a good way to go. But the response I got back was overwhelming. #1 is no easy feat, even so when you already have an established name and sound. But with that comes hard work and constant promotion. I feel like I haven't slept in a year. Between recording, writing, and promoting, I haven't had but a few minutes in between to sit and think quietly.

Press has kept me busier than I was ready for. You can always prepare yourself for what you know you have to do, but when it comes time to do it, you find yourself sitting back and saying "Holy shit, can I get 2 seconds?!". Sleep is a luxury. In to bed at 2 and up at 5, an extra 2 hours is sleeping in these days. From New York back to California and then back again. I'm lucky I can keep my states straight let alone the city I'm in. Radio interviews, TV appearances, writing, touring, and if I'm lucky a night out to let loose. The press I've found has been for the most part positive, there's always that one of two articles that will call you something along the lines of a "recycled Robin Thicke". There's a lid for every trash can, I don't expect everyone to love or understand what I'm putting out there, and even if I did, it's not a possibility. I've been putting it out there as much as I can so I'll get a warm reception back, but even then, there's still those knots in my stomach that I can't rid of. The tour has brought up much of the positive press I was speaking of. Co-headlining with Jordin Sparks, it's seeming to me that she's doing well holding on her own but the audience she's reaching out there can't embrace her the way she wants just yet. I can understand that, she's still getting her feet wet. Not everyone is a super star in their first 10 minutes into the game. But, I feel for the best of what I have, that she's been the right choice to join me on the road. She's getting her exposure and my own fans are opening themselves to her sound. In turn her fans have also allowed themselves to open up to my sound. It's an amazing exchange to open yourself up to something new, even if it's something out of left field, and I think that's the trouble is that sometimes you have to force yourself or someone else to open up to something they normally wouldn't allow themselves to even think about. Imagine if you did that how much you'd be missing out on, the experiences that would never come to be. I wouldn't be where I'm at right now if I didn't give it a second thought. So in touring, I've learned something on my own. A little change can do a lot of damage.

My personal life it seems isn't suffering completely from everything I have going. I do manage to take what little time I have to get outside to smell the fresh air. I'm not one of those people that can suffocate themselves with being locked up in a room all day long with and pen and some paper. I'm dedicated to what I do, and I'm proud of it. But I'm only 22, and I think sometimes people forget that. I think sometimes even I forget that. I like to go out, have a drink or two and get down with the rest of you. I like to go outside and run around ape shit like a 5 year old from time to time. I like to stuff my face with McDonald's. It's the things like that, that make people forget who they are and what they are about. It makes them forget where they came from. Life isn't all being boxed up in one room by yourself to write a song about your heart being ripped to shreds for 72 hours. It's not about Postponing a date with your friends so you can record those extra 2 hours that were lost in touring. It's not about pushing people that mean the most to you out of your life because you make more money than they do. I am human, you are human. Pretending to be Kanye West is not going to buy you the joys in life you need. Everyone is their own person, and sometimes that comes with a consequence or two. The camera's caught you stumbling out of a bar drunk and barely able to walk. TMZ posted a video of you uttering obscenities because you had a bad day and they were following you around. This doesn't make us bad people, but it certainly changes the perception that our audience receives of us. One day you're Jesse McCartney, the next day you're "Asshole Extraordinaire". It's what makes us who we are, and nobody really understands unless they've been in our shoes as to what we deal with and the fact that we too make mistakes just like Joe Smith does. I've been lucky, there haven't been too many of those out there on my end. Maybe it's luck, maybe it's planning, whatever it is has been kind to me. But everyone loves what they do, or we wouldn't be doing it. So long as you don't forget who you are, and what you are about, you can't lose what matters most in your life. You.